The Never-Proven Urban Legend Concerning College Students and the Fatted Calf

-or-

Mythical, legendary, unspoken tricks to save hungry, poor college students from starvation (since they're spending all of their money on booze, and their parents' money on tuition)

You didn't hear it from us. Or on this web site. But let's just say there's a myth . . . nay, a legend. A mighty, mighty legend concerning (mostly) struggling students from Washington University (struggling my tukas, I'll just bet you didn't walk here from school - I saw that nice, late-model car you drove) and other area institutions of higher learning, whereby there's some sort of unspoken, unwritten and unconfirmed rumor, or whisperings, or something . . . that if somehow, some way, a genuine and current college identification card is flashed during the process of checking out, and to the proper cashier (one who actually cares about education, not the one who hates school, school colors, school songs, school mascots and all things school-related), then there may be, sort of, kinda' could be - some sort of gratuity offered up as a worship to the Gods of robbing your parents' retirement funds blind in the name of sheepskin with your name scrawled on it. (time to take a breath - Gawd, 'twas a long sentence.)

You didn't hear it here, nor did you here it hear. 'nuff said. If you're smart enough, (and isn't that what college is supposed to do for you anyway?!?) you'll figure it out. Long live beer bongs.